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Breaking up with someone you love deeply can leave you feeling like the world has been turned upside down. If you've ever experienced a break-up, you know the sense of loss and grief that can feel all-consuming. It's not just the end of a relationship—it’s the end of shared dreams, future plans, and the deep emotional connection that took time to build. I’ve been there. I had what some might call a "twin flame" connection with someone who, despite our differences, felt like my perfect counterpart. Our relationship was both beautiful and challenging, filled with growth and deep transformation.
But eventually, we came to a difficult decision: we had to part ways. It wasn’t out of anger or blame—our break-up was a choice made with love, knowing that it was what we both needed. Even though it was the right decision, it was the hardest one I’ve ever made. In the months that followed, I faced a range of emotions—pain, sadness, anger, loneliness—that left me feeling lost. But instead of letting these feelings overwhelm me, I turned to somatic practices to help with break up pain and to help me heal. Through this journey, I found tools that not only helped me navigate the emotional storm but also led me to a deeper connection with myself. If you’re in the midst of a break-up, or still struggling to move on from one, I want to share my story and the techniques that helped me find peace and strength.
The Power of Grief and Acceptance
After any break-up, especially one so emotionally charged, it’s natural to feel a mix of sadness, anger, and regret. I had to let myself feel these emotions deeply without pushing them away. By using somatic practices, I learned to really sit with my emotions. Somatics helped me reconnect with my body and process the pain on a physical level—feeling, accepting, and eventually releasing the difficult emotions tied to the loss.
It’s common to want to avoid the hurt, to distract yourself, or to numb the pain. But I found that by embracing the sadness, rather than resisting it, I was able to heal more fully. Allowing space for these emotions is crucial to moving forward.
Reconnecting with My Masculine Energy
The relationship had a deep impact on my personal development, particularly in how I connected with my masculinity. My ex helped me embrace my masculine energy, which became even more essential during the healing process. I turned to yoga and martial arts to channel my frustration and anger in healthy, constructive ways. These practices grounded me, helping me regain confidence and a sense of control in my life.
Martial arts, in particular, provided an outlet for the raw energy I was feeling, while also helping me build strength, discipline, and focus. Yoga, on the other hand, helped me balance that intensity with calmness and self-compassion. Together, they were crucial in helping me step fully into my masculine energy—something I’ll carry with me as I move forward in life.
Finding a Supportive Circle
As I worked through the grief, I realized how important it was to be surrounded by people who genuinely cared about me. I found a new circle of friends—people who I could trust, who had my best interests at heart. This kind of support system can be a game-changer when you’re healing, especially when you’re tempted to fall into isolation. They reminded me of my worth and offered perspective when I couldn’t see past the pain.
If you’re going through a break-up, lean on those who love and support you. It’s tempting to withdraw, but finding a community that lifts you up can make a huge difference.
Changing My Environment
Sometimes, healing requires a change of scenery. After my break-up, I realized that staying in the same environment was keeping me stuck in the past. I made deliberate efforts to change my surroundings, which gave me the chance to see my life with fresh eyes. This shift in perspective allowed me to step out of the emotional fog and envision a new future for myself. It’s easy to stay stuck in patterns when everything around you reminds you of the past, so if possible, shake up your environment. A change in scenery can bring clarity and motivation to move forward.
Radical Self-Reflection and Forgiveness
A big part of my healing was reflecting on the relationship itself. I looked back on all the lessons I’d learned—the good and the bad—and how my ex and I had helped each other grow. I had to forgive myself for the mistakes I made, and I also had to forgive her. It’s easy to cling to resentment, but in the long run, forgiveness sets you free.
I also took radical responsibility for my growth. Rather than seeing the break-up as something that happened to me, I saw it as an opportunity for transformation. I embraced the lessons I learned from the relationship and committed to becoming a better version of myself.
Using Breathwork for Emotional Release
One of the most powerful tools I used in my healing journey was breathwork. Breathwork allowed me to tap into my emotional body and release the grief, sadness, and heartache that had built up over time. Through intentional, focused breathing exercises, I found a way to calm my nervous system, regain control of my emotions, and ease the physical tension that heartbreak had created in my body.
Breathwork, with its rhythmic, deep inhalations and exhalations, helped me process the intense emotions that often felt too overwhelming to handle. As I let go of each breath, I let go of some of the pain. It became a practice of surrender, reminding me that healing isn’t about suppressing the hurt but allowing it to flow through you. If you’re struggling with the emotional weight of a break-up, breathwork can be an incredibly effective way to reconnect with yourself and release what’s been held inside.
Embracing Loneliness and Vulnerability
After a break-up, the feelings of loneliness can be some of the hardest to bear. I remember the quiet moments when the absence of my partner felt like an overwhelming void. But instead of running from that loneliness, I learned to embrace it and view it as a necessary part of the healing process. Somatic practices played a big role here, helping me stay connected to my body and recognize that the sensations of loneliness and vulnerability are just that—sensations.
They are part of being human, and they don’t have to define or control me.
Through somatic awareness, I learned to feel the loneliness in my body—the tightness in my chest, the heaviness in my stomach—and acknowledge it without judgment. The more I tuned into these feelings, the more I realized that loneliness, while painful, was an opportunity for self-discovery. It became a space for me to reconnect with myself and grow more comfortable with vulnerability.
Vulnerability can feel terrifying, especially after the end of a deep relationship, but it’s also where true growth happens. When we allow ourselves to be open, to feel the discomfort, we make room for new possibilities, new connections, and new strength.
It was through embracing my vulnerability that I found solace in the mental health group run by a friend. Being part of that group showed me that I wasn’t alone in my pain. Hearing the stories of others, seeing their resilience, and witnessing how people triumph over struggles gave me hope and a real sense that life indeed moves on. This community reminded me that even though the pain was real, it wasn’t permanent, and that connection and support are always available if we’re willing to reach out.
Conclusion
If you’re going through a break-up right now, know that it’s okay to grieve. It’s okay to feel lost, angry, or heartbroken. But also know that this is an opportunity for growth, healing, and self-discovery. Whether you find solace in somatic practices, breathwork, martial arts, yoga, or simply in the quiet moments of self-reflection, trust that you can emerge from this stronger than ever.
The end of a relationship is not the end of your story—it’s the beginning of a new chapter, one where you get to define your path, heal your heart, and step fully into your power.
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